Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
