So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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