I hate your face
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
