i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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