His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize