oh god the rape fog is back!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
