I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I party with great urgency now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
