I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
