no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
