He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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