I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
