He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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