why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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