all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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