What a fucking waste of an outfit
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
