im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
