"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
