Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
