I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
