you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
