some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
