just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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