ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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