worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
