I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
