he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
