If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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