dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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