She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i love accidental penises.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
