my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
