Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
