so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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