Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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