fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
