My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
