Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018