just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
