do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
