what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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