Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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