i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
