it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
