Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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