Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
