Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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