he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
