Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
