Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize