it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
