grandma shit on top of the toilet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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