I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
