At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize