I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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