I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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