so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
