i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
