Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
