Dual....:-)
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
