I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize