and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
