I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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