i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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