Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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