I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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