I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
