Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
