Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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