Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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