Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
