That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
