My first STD was from a foam party
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
