I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
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I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
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