I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
