On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
